Ten Drinks Never To Be Ordered In The Eureka Nightlife Scene
By Bo Sarvinski
One of those nights has arrived. The night you look forward to after a hard venture the previous week in the workforce. An old friend calls, suggest that the Nightlife in Eureka, California, demands your presence. You gladly accept! For it is not everyday that you get a night off to go and have some fun, relax, shoot some pool, dance, or just enjoy a good drink.
Then the hangover strikes the next morning. Your noggin feels the shift of what feels like a 10 pound bowling ball rolling around in your skull. Your mouth is dry, your bed never felt so comfortable, but gets old after awhile. The increased hours of sleep make you feel like you cannot leave bed.
There are 10 drinks that probably caused this. But they were not just drinks that added to the increase in your alcohol levels, they were drinks that had a quality that does not deserve to be granted to a night out on the town. Their consumption lead, in some way, to bad decisions being made, and bad reactions by others.
Presented here, are those ten drinks and why they should not be consumed:
Zima at one time was considered to be a “drink capable of accommodating the current generation.” Then, just as it became popular, it was forgotten. Although still sold in some stores, Zima is not a drink for Eureka Nightlife. Zima is what some would call a “sugar drink,” where the ingredients added overpower the content of the alcohol. This could lead to high amounts of consumption. The real penalty, however, is ordering the Zima in the first place. Ordering a Zima kills the overall outlook of whomever the consumer is keeping bar patron company with, unless of course, the other has additionally ordered a Zima as well. In that case, both can join in sorrow together….for like the ’90s that welcomed Zima to this world, the fad is dead.
NUMBER 9-THE MANHATTAN:
The traditional Manhattan consists of 3/4 OZ sweet vermouth, 2 1/2 OZ of bourbon whiskey, 1 dash of bitters, and 1 marashino cherry and 1 twist of an orange peel mashed at the bottom of the glass. The end result is a dark caramel-looking liquid (and it is usually served in a conned-saucer glass that you would other wise never see a Bartender use). Seems simple enough to the consumer, but why is a Manhattan not a bar drink? Simple. A MANHATTAN FITS IN A STRONGER HIERARCHY. The Nightlife of Eureka is a more chilled, sometimes fast-paced environment. The Manhattan was originally designed not as a social drink, but as an “eventful” drink for the upper-class. More-than-likely, a Manhattan is found in a lounge-type area, not a bar. (Plus, a few Manhattans can easily leave the consumer with a wild hangover).
NUMBER 8-ANY DRINK YOU ORDER JUST BECAUSE YOU HEARD IT IN A SONG:
Number 8 speaks for itself. If a consumer does that, they are a poser (and no one likes a poser, except for other posers).
NUMBER 7-THE BANSHEE:
The Banshee consists of 1/2 OZ Creme de Cacao, white, 1 OZ Liquer (Banana), and 1 1/2 OZ of Cream mixed in a cocktail shaker with ice and served in a cocktail glass. While the viewer may delight in the taste and visual beauty of the drink at first, they may mistake the drink to be okay when ingested constantly. The savory taste of Banana is filling and quite delicious at first, but after awhile comes back with a vengeance. The stomach can get easily upset by this drink, not a fun way to end the night or to wake up the next morning.
NUMBER 6-1 2 3 FLOOR:
Doubtfully an uncommon item in the Eureka Nightlife scene, but if it were, there would be no positive suggestion of drinking it (but feel free to try it at home). The 1 2 3 Floor is made from 1 full bottle of champagne, 1 shot of Hpnotiq vodka, 8 shots of any other vodka, 2 cans of red bull, and 3 handles of ice all mixed into one pitcher. The end result is the namesake of the drink. While vodka and red bull are a delight to mix together, the addition of Hpnotiq and champagne are not prime candidates for a “steady drunk” status. The massive mix of alcohol, electrolytes, caffeine, and champagne will bring a new meaning to the phrase “bar crawl.”
NUMBER 5-ABSINTHE BURNER:
Absinthe is of course not legal in the United States. That is, the European-grade Absinthe is not legal in the United States. Uncle Sam has since made a legal version sold to the consumers of the followers of Old Glory. An Absinthe Burner works when a glass of Absinthe is placed sideways atop a bigger glass (filled with either a tiny bit of sugar or soda). The Absinthe is lit by the bartender, blown out, then poured into the other glass. The patron then downs the drink, turns it over, sticks a straw under the cup, and proceeds to suck the fumes from the inside of the glass. End result? Usually not a good one (but fun if your only plan for the night is to get drunk and spend later hours praying to the Porcelain God).
NUMBER 4-STUMPTON ALE:
Depending on the generating and receiving tastes of the bar patron, Stumpton can either mean a good night, or involuntary dry-heaving.
Wine was not designed to be drank in a bar environment. Not to mention, it was made for the exact opposite. The fine consumption of Wine is meant for a festive celebration, a simple complexity that many of us refuse to adapt to in our everyday lives. Wine also helps to makes meals better; as in a wonderful delivery of new sources to the taste buds to complement food. One thing that is always disappointing to see is someone drinking wine in a bar. Wine is best kept for the events in life we take pride in, not for a bar counter top.
NUMBER 2-ANY DRINK THAT YOU’RE DRINKING AS A MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A GIRLY DRINK:
Once again, Number 2 speaks for itself.
NUMBER 1-ANY DRINK THAT YOU’VE HAD A BAD RECORD WITH AND YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T HANDLE:
There will always be stories told of the day after a night out on the town. Such as these stories will always be told, there will always be the excuses of “I was way too drunk last night!” or “I drank way too much last night!” Just as such, a drink will be named. The lesson, though, should be taken. If a patron knows that they cannot handle a certain drink, they should feel open to broaden their horizons and try something new. There is a vast selection out there of drinks that not all bar patrons are open to. The regular bar patron will have a specific drink, and try others when a friend suggests them.
Next time you go out, look at the menu of drinks. Take a pick, and try it. Open your horizons and have a good time among friends.
And always remember the 10 drinks you should never do in Eureka Nightlife.
Always tip your Bartender!