MoonMan’s Mistress: Stone-Age Simplicity for Space-Age Stoners

“Everyone is different. Every bio blueprint is different. The amount of THC each person needs is different, and probably differs within that person from day-to-day. Educating ourselves, even for recreational use, is very important.”

Tickets to the space station aren’t necessary because MoonMan’s Mistress has landed with cookies that will take you to the moon. Astronauts, athletes, those with food allergies, those who are health conscious or selective about potency — they’ve got you covered.

MoonMan Mistress cookies are all organic, gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, paleo and low-glycemic. They also have vegan and nut-free options. The flavor is on point, with a subtle, pleasant ganja undertone. Each cookie is sweet enough to enjoy, and potent enough for medicinal purposes. And, drum roll please… there is a CBD cookie coming soon!

I met up with co-founder, Liz Rudner, and L.A. sales representative, Katrina Lofgren, for a paleo brunch and cookie talk.

MoonMan’s Mistress was created by health and wellness heroes, Rudner and Jamel Ramiro, in 2015. Rudner holds a certificate in nutrition from Precision Nutrition, over 20 years in the hospitality industry, and is currently enrolled at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Ramiro is a U.S. Army Veteran, NASM certified personal trainer, Muay Thai/Boxing coach, and devoted surfer. Like their cookies, Rudner and Ramiro are on a mission to educate and medicate.

They aim to empower people about health: how to get it and how to keep it. Plus, Rudner says, “cookies make people happy.”

Nearly every square inch of packaging is covered in information about ingredients, dosage, and lab test results.

Because others might be new to paleo-centric eating, or cannabis, Rudner offers a product that is familiar and friendly: the cookie.

The Paleo diet is based on what people ate in the stone age – meat, fish, fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Through eating a paleo-based diet, Rudner found relief from Celiac and Hashimoto’s disease ailments, and she was inspired to share the information.

Rudner hopes to help people make healthier, informed decisions today so they can lead a long, healthy life that is free from sickness, lack of energy and staggering hospital bills. She and Ramiro promote preventative medicine through healthy eating and exercising habits. “Everyone is different. Every bio blueprint is different. The amount of THC each person needs is different. Educating ourselves, even for recreational use, is very important,” Rudner said over our late October brunch.

There are five flavors to blast off your healthy cannabis experience; Chocolate Chip Crater Cookie, Trail Mix Super Nova Cookie (1st Place Winner Best Healthy Edible, 2015 Edibles List Awards), Pumpkin Pecan Mini Space Cakes, Lunar Lemon Maca Shortbread Cookie (Vegan Option), and Cosmic Cacao Peppermint Cookie. My personal favorite is the Chocolate Chip Crater Cookie. The ratio of chocolate chip-to-bite is just right.

Each cookies is made with purposefully chosen ingredients. The Cosmic Cacao Peppermint Cookie, for example, highlights the use of peppermint to address symptoms of nausea and vomiting, especially for cancer patients using chemotherapy. For MoonMan’s Mistress, it’s about engaging in cannabis in the healthiest way possible. They use nutrient-dense sugars like organic, real Vermont maple sugar which has twenty four different antioxidants, and organic coconut nectar which has seventeen amino acids, Vitamins B and C, and loads of minerals.

All MoonMan’s Mistress cannabis is organic and outdoor grown: it is supplied by Dirt Ninja in Sonoma County and other private, organic farms. The eggs come from free-range, organically raised chickens whom Rudner has personally met. The boxes include highlights of each ingredient. (For a taste, see “Cookie Highlights” below.)   

These cookies are perfect for anyone who wants wellness, cannabis and transparency. Athletes love these cookies. People suffering from autoimmune disorders like Celiac, Hashimoto’s disease, and Crohn’s disease love these cookies. People who need strong, organic THC as medicine love these cookies. And stoners… these little stone-age style cookies will get you high.

For the saturated stoner, this cookie is dank with full-plant power. Before you read the cookie facts, I’m going to tell you something kind of important: dose this little cookie out, seriously.

MoonMan’s Mistress uses a full-plant emulsion technique in which the entire marijuana plant, flowers, leaf, and all, is placed in a vat of coconut oil and basically blended up. Unlike other recipes, the plant matter remains in the oil, in the batter, and the cookie you eat. The plant matter is never strained out, so there are even more beneficial cannabinoids.

Rudner says that whether or not you are a heavy user, “the nutrient-dense fats pack a hard punch.” These cookies may feel stronger than other edibles with the same or lower dosage of THC — so again — dose it. She explained that, “the psychoactive material, THC d9, loves fat. Fat doesn’t break down until your liver. The chemical reaction doesn’t happen until your liver. So what happens is, it’s a slow roll; once it hits your liver, it then hits your bloodstream, then it flows out.”

From my experience, looks can be deceiving. This isn’t just some cute, little, tasty pot cookie. It’s a powerhouse.

Cookie Facts:

  • 25mg THC per cookie, trace mg CBD
  • $20/box of two cookies = 50mg THC per box
  • Organic, all of it, even the weed!
  • Calories range from 90 to 150 calories per cookie
  • Come in Paleo, Gluten-free, Dairy-free and Soy-free options
  • Vegan and Nut-free on certain products
  • Six grams of sugar or less in each cookie.
  • It takes about an hour to take effect.

Cookie Highlights:

    • *Trail Mix Super Nova Cookie (*Nut-free): Contains hemp seeds, which have essential fatty acids like Omega 3, 6, and GLA.
    • Chocolate Chip Crater Cookie: Almond flour – low in carbs, gluten free, high in protein and fiber; chocolate chips – 69 percent dark cacao, an antioxidant source.

 

  • Pumpkin Pecan Mini Space Cake: Pumpkin improves mood, reduces anxiety and depression; pecans – reduce muscle soreness and lowers blood pressure; cinnamon – lowers blood-sugar, fights bacteria and fungal infections, including respiratory tract infections.

 

  • Cosmic Cacao Peppermint Cookie: Sweet potato flour – helps with weight-loss and lowers blood pressure; raw cacao – contains flavanol, an anti-inflammatory and heart protective antioxidant; peppermint – can help relieve nausea and vomiting, especially in cancer patients on chemotherapy.
  • *Lunar Lemon Maca Shortbread Cookie (*vegan): Lemon zest – helps remove carcinogenic elements and toxins from the body; maca root – increases energy, stamina, and mood.

Written by Shannon Perkins

Feel it for yourself. Moonwalk with MoonMan’s Mistress. For more information on the makers, the cookies, and where to find them, check them out @moonmansmistress or visit moonmansmistress.com  

Leave a Comment