I Tried Her Highness’ CBD Pleasure Oil and My Vagina Passed Away

By Samantha Wahl

Dearly beloved. We are gathered here to honor the life of my vagina, may she rest in power. For 26 years she graced the space betwixt my legs. She is deceased now, passed on by way of Her Highness CBD-infused Pleasure Oil. Her final moments were spent in a state of extreme ecstasy. She will be missed.

CBD products are everywhere right now. Working in cannabis media, I’ve found that they’re impossible to avoid. But more often than not, products will contain CBD as a marketing embellishment, not as an active medicinal ingredient. I’ve had my fair share of lackluster experiences with CBD wellness products that just don’t deliver. 

Not this time.

This experiment was originally conducted for scientific research purposes only. Fine, I guess I’ll stay home and masturbate all day, inconvenient as it may be, I said to myself. I wanted to discover the hoopla surrounding CBD on the hoo-hah. 

What I found was nothing. There is no solid evidence that CBD positively or negatively affects sexual pleasure. There are only personal testimonials. 

So, I decided to create my own. If I was going to devote my day to gathering data, I was going to be fully relaxed while doing so. On a work from home day, I closed the blinds, lit some candles, charged my rabbit, and used Her Highness Pleasure Oil to grease up like a sexy Tin Man.  

Here’s what happened:

  • Even before the climax, any part of me that made contact with the oil felt amazing

The oil itself is tea tree scented, and it made my body smell amazing. It tingles and warms your body on contact, so it even has some pre-orgasm relaxing properties. My fingers even felt the tingle. It all felt so good I could have stopped right there but–eh, who am I kidding.

  • I had a longer pleasure-sesh

I’m usually in-n-out type. Hit it and quit it. Let’s-get-this-over-with kind of gal. But nay. With this oil, I literally could have laid there till kingdom come and had been perfectly satisfied. I eventually snapped myself back to reality and remembered the science I was supposed to be focusing on. But the whole experience lasted around 15 minutes, which felt like an eternity for me.

  • My orgasm was so intense my vagina RIP’d

Long and strong, people, LONG AND STRONG. While my orgasms normally last around 10 seconds or so, this one lasted somewhere around 30 seconds. And by golly if it wasn’t extreme. My muscles were contracting so hard and fast that I think they accidentally kicked the bucket. Seriously, how does one recover from something like this?

I now use the pleasure oil with my partner and by my lonesome. When I use it with my partner, he feels an intensified sexual experience as well. I have a hard time having sex without it, it’s just not the same. Any way I use it is just as extreme and beautiful. 

Her Highness gave me the craziest orgasm of my modest little life. They should advertise some kind of warning label. Will have earth shattering orgasm, may induce psychosis. Honestly, I’m surprised I can still walk.

Emerald contributor since September 2019

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