Review: Smarty Plants — Flower For the Brain

Smarty Plants Flower comes in a variety of different strains. Photo provided by Vana.

Smarty Plants is a California-based cannabis brand that claims to sell “knowledge in every jar.” Through their packaging, advertising, and marketing, Smarty Plants spares no expense in communicating their brand identity. 

Smarty Plants flower is sold in California by the eighth (3.5 g), and features strains such as Ice Cream Cake, Fatso, and Stardawg. 

Distributing Knowledge?

Each eighth is stored in a glass container that features some really impressive art on every label. On the cap of the container, there is a QR code that consumers can scan with their phones. The code leads directly to a blog on the Smarty Plants’ website, full of interesting tidbits and internet rabbit holes. Be careful with those links though, I can speak from experience that it is way too easy to waste hours on the page learning an absurd amount of information.

Ally Becker is an account manager for Smarty Plants’ agency, AP Keaton. A key part of her job is assisting clients and brands with any of their marketing needs. Becker is also an avid cannabis user who likes to use Smarty Plants to unwind after a long day.

“When you smoke [….] you have these crazy revelations. You get high and you have these ideas [….] and you get smarter from those,” Becker says, “You see the world in a different perspective, you see the world in different ways. Smarty Plants is all about that.”

Smarty Plants grows their cannabis indoors and using LED lights. This method ensures each plant gets the exact amount of light it needs to consistently produce the perfect amount of terpene. Once the bud is dry, it goes into the cure vault. There, it hangs out in lined, airtight tubes that track humidity using external hygrometers.

Test Results?

Before I jump into my review, it is worth noting that I was unable to find any test results for Smarty Plants’ flower, a requirement in California. I searched their website, and I contacted the company, who could not provide them. As a result, Emerald could not confirm if the flower contained the 20.66% THC the company advertises. 

As the legal industry forms, it is important for consumers to consider test results or a certificate of analysis (COA) for cannabis products. COAs confirm whether the product is accurately labeled, and free of contaminants like pesticides, mold, etc. 

Smarty Plants’ Rolls Choice OG

20.66% THC, 0.05% CBD

~$50 for 3.5 g (an eighth)

Enough about branding and agricultural practices, this is a product review after all. I was able to get my hands on an eighth of Smarty Plants’ Rolls Choice OG, a Sativa-dominant hybrid that is a combination of popular strains Chemdawg and OG Kush.  

The plant itself smells sour, with a hint of citrus. The bud is mostly lime green with some brown hairs and a tiny bit of purple. Rolls Choice OG supposedly features a high concentration of THC at 20.66%, though lab results are unavailable.

The Moment of Truth

Because the Rolls Choice OG is Sativa dominant, I expected a much more energetic high. Instead I felt this euphoric and calm sensation come over me after my first few hits. While it’s certainly powerful, this isn’t the type of high that transforms you into a piece of furniture. 

I actually felt much more talkative and social than I usually do after smoking. I’ve got a pretty strong tolerance when it comes to cannabis, yet this high still lasted somewhere between an hour and a half and two hours for me.

One last thing I’d like to point out is the bud’s mental effect. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I’ve always had a tough time getting out of my own head. The high that I got from Smarty Plants’ Rolls Choice OG helped soothe my nerves and kept me from overthinking. That being said, while it was an effective stress reliever for me, I can’t guarantee that others will have the same experience.

Worth It?

So is Smarty Plants really able to put knowledge in every jar? To say I felt any more intelligent after trying their Rolls Choice OG would be a bit of a stretch. What I can say is that while Smarty Plants didn’t give me all the answers, it gave me confidence in my ability to find them. 

In terms of the price point, $50 for an eighth might be a tad pricey for indoor-grown flower in California.

Overall this is a great strain for nighttime use, a lazy Sunday, or just a low-key kickback with close friends. Due to the lack of test results, I can’t give a fair overall rating, but it’s definitely something that I would like to try again.

Overall rating: Non-applicable